Filed Under: I Would Rather Eat My Own Tongue Then Watch A Rebooted ‘Buffy’ Movie

Those who know me well, know I harbor a deep love of all nearly all things ‘Buffy’.  I consider it to be one of the greatest storyline based TV shows ever made, and it’s sibling show ‘Angel’ follows neck in bitten neck with it for greatness.  I love the characters, the mythology, the writing, you name it.  In fact, I would hitchhike to other countries to watch a Joss Whedon involved ‘Buffy’ movie.

Thats EXACTLY how we feel!

That's EXACTLY how we feel!

But today, The Hollywood Reporter is talking about the possibilities of a non-Whedon reboot of the franchise by the folks, who admittedly were the producers of the shows, but were also the primary parties involved in nearly killing one TV’s greatest franchises before it even started.  What the hell am I talking about?  The Kazui’s were responsible for making that atrocious film starring Kristie Swanson in the lead role back in 1992.  Read and rage with me a moment:

A new incarnation of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” could be coming to the big screen.

“Buffy” creator Joss Whedon isn’t involved and it’s not set up at a studio, but Roy Lee and Doug Davison of Vertigo Entertainment are working with original movie director Fran Rubel Kuzui and her husband, Kaz Kuzui, on what is being labeled a remake or relaunch, but not a sequel or prequel.

While Whedon is the person most associated with “Buffy,” Kuzui and her Kuzui Enterprises have held onto the rights since the beginning, when she discovered the “Buffy” script from then-unknown Whedon. She developed the script while her husband put together the financing to make the 1992 movie, which was released by Fox.

Kuzui later teamed with Gail Berman, then president of Sandollar Television, bringing back Whedon to make the TV series, which was produced by Fox TV and launched on the WB in 1997. Kuzui and Sandollar received executive producer credits on “Buffy” and its spinoff, “Angel.”

The new “Buffy” film, however, would have no connection to the TV series, nor would it use popular supporting characters like Angel, Willow, Xander or Spike. Vertigo and Kuzui are looking to restart the story line without trampling on the beloved existing universe created by Whedon, putting the parties in a similar situation faced by Paramount, J.J. Abrams and his crew when relaunching “Star Trek.”

Ok, I’m breathing, trying to remain calm, but it’s not working very well.  In fact—  hold on, I’m going to go fix myself a drink so I can better finish this article…

What else can you say about a movie where *I* am the best part?

What else can you say about a movie where *I* am the best part?

There, I feel much better.  I’m lying of course, my nerd rage cannot be contained.  Buffy nerds are a special breed in my book, I know a lot of very smart, very in on things people who are fans.  No, not just fans, die-hard fans.  They love Sunnydale, they worship Joss, they love things like Willow and Spike and Xander and Giles and Drusilla and Willow and… God, you get the picture.  Did I say Willow twice?  Good, had to make sure.

We’ve had the carrot of a Buffy movie hung in front of us since the moment everything fell into the Hellmouth. And since that moment, any mention of this hypothetical movie causes worm-sign the likes of which Glory has never seen amongst the fanbase.  But instead of the long promised continuation, we get word that the folks who already screwed it up once, want another shot.   I picture fires, protests, riots in the streets.  Well, probably not, but I certainly wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of this nerd backlash.

God, I think I need another drink already.

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3 Responses to “Filed Under: I Would Rather Eat My Own Tongue Then Watch A Rebooted ‘Buffy’ Movie”

  1. As a die hard Buffy/Joss fan since my preteen years, the idea of a non-Joss included remake is the worst idea I’ve ever heard. It honestly makes me sick a little. I’d like to know what the hell these people are thinking and/or what drugs they are on that would make them consider a Buffy “reboot”.

  2. strangeink Says:

    Fran Rubel Kuzui and her husband had nothing whatsoever to do with the series; they got producer credit because of their legal standing w/ the property. At least they have no intention of using any of the series’ concepts or characters for this.

  3. joeylabartunek Says:

    No, and that’s the worst part. Those two really got lip service in the creds for having done the horrible original film and now they get free reign to do as they please. I realize that it doesn’t affect the work already created, but as we’ve seen with other remakes, it’s shameful towards the original and in some cases overtakes it with it’s crappiness. I would just rather not see that with the Buffster.

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