Archive for June, 2009

Because This Is What Kind of Week it Will Be

Posted in Personal/Creative on June 30, 2009 by joeylabartunek
Fuck it. This is all anyone gets today.

Fuck it. This is all anyone gets today.

Thanks to Joker for sending me my new bumper sticker.

Songs for the day include:

Refused – “New Noise”
Marilyn Manson – “This is the New Shit”
Pulp – “Bad Cover Version”

Let’s Just Be Done With June

Posted in Film, Personal/Creative with tags , , , on June 29, 2009 by joeylabartunek

I spent the weekend in what can only be described as a near comatose simmer.

Hoping to forego the several BBQ’s that sprouted up like weeds the minute the temperature reached slightly uncomfortable levels, I settled in for a lazy morning; climbing off of Joker’s couch, dragging my ass onto the train back to North Hollywood, and settling in to rot a while with some gaming.  My mood was slightly foul after the party, and I couldn’t put a finger on it, but I figured it was in everyone’s best interest that I stay in.  Such was not to be my day.

Someday, Ill buy a real camera and take my own pictures.  Really.

Someday, I'll buy a real camera and take my own pictures. Really.

Pressured into heading out to Malibu by my compatriot Jared, a very convincing fellow who knows how to motivate the unmotivated,  ie. by  removing all  good excuses from the equation, I gave in.  Along with Alexi, Jared’s squeeze and Martina, our crew’s recently returned Brazilian madwoman, we piled into Jared’s little car, battled the sweltering oven the valley had become, and drove the back roads and tunnels out to PCH.

Spending the afternoon lounging around the pool at the Casa De Goldfinger didn’t improve my disposition on the whole, but certainly worked as a pleasant diversion for a few hours.

If you dont know, I dont know Ron.

If you don't know, I don't know Ron.

After returning home, I had the pleasure of watching “The Mutant Chronicles“, an all around not bad venture.  The film is certainly light years above the usual Sci-Fi channel crap-a-thons I have inflicted upon me every Saturday and Sunday.  Starring Ron Perlman and Thomas Jane, it’s a futuristic tale about mankind’s last chance at survival in a apocalpytic world where an endless flood of mutant savages butcher everything in their path and then drag the corpses back to their mysterious creator, “The Machine”.

After an ancient book is found detailing how to stop The Machine once and for all, a team of soldiers, akin to some kind of holy Dirty Dozen, set out on a suicide mission to descend into the depths of the mutant horde and destroy it.

The aethetic is somewhere between World War II,  steampunk,  Richard’s third crusade, and more than a little Gears of War.  Seriously.  The world has great depth, the acting is fairly well done, and it may in fact one of the best Sci-Fi flicks I’ve seen in awhile.  And they have coal burning flying ships.  Come on.

Excuse me Doctor, where did you say you were going to put that?!

Excuse me Doctor, where did you say you were going to put that?!

Of course, that’s not to say the film doesn’t have problems.  The low budget causes some of the later fight scenes to appear silly and poorly staged.  In particular there is a scene I can only assume was meant to appear as an epic battle, but the problem with only having a handful of mutants is that the scene ends up looking about as epic as a bunch of drunken dads fighting outside the TGI Fridays after a shitty ball game.  And the mutants could have used a helping hand from some good prosthetic work, their faces especially turned out sub-par.  I’m just saying.

The plot too suffers in the second half, where things get a little sloppy in the dialogue department and we have to stretch for some story elements.  But so what, right?  By that point I was along for the ride which is the real point.

And I’m not holding the lack of budget against the film, in fact I applaud the creators for trying to be so balsy with a story so big on a budget obviously much smaller than something this great requires.

Overall, I gave it the thumbs up and I’m trying to talk this thing up.  I’d love to see something by these guys with enough money to make it live up to the promise.

Sunday?  Other than visiting with my dad, there’s not much to report there.  Fuck it, let’s just get on with the week.

You Mean They’re Not Still Cannibals?

Posted in Politics & World with tags , on June 29, 2009 by joeylabartunek

I’m completely not surprised, I mean, some people I know are one step away from this now :

Early Europeans were cannibals with a particular taste for the flesh of children, archaeologists have claimed.
The claim has come after bones of the ancestors of Neanderthals and Homo Sapiens who first settled in Europe around 800,000 years ago were unearthed in the Atapuerca caves in northern Spain.

A study of the prehistoric remains has revealed that human flesh formed part of the diet of early man and children and adolescents in particular were regularly killed and eaten.

Jose Maria Bermudez de Castro, one of the co-directors of the Atapuerca project, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, said: “It is the first well-documented case of cannibalism in the history of humanity.”

More in this article here.

More Self-Destructive Animals

Posted in Personal/Creative on June 26, 2009 by joeylabartunek

Tonight we see off one of the tribe, my friend Lacey is moving back home to go to a new school.  And while it’ll be sad to see her go, she’s trying new things and will be better off for it, I’m sure.

In keeping with the apparent spirit of animals getting completely smashed this week, tonight, we will have a hopefully epic send-off party for her.

I’ll let you know in the morning.

Yes, But Can They Mix A Good Martini

Posted in Funny Stuff with tags on June 26, 2009 by joeylabartunek

Can’t go wrong with drunken monkeys.

Wallabies Chasing The Dragon, Imitating Aliens

Posted in Funny Stuff with tags on June 25, 2009 by joeylabartunek

Never trust a marsupial.  Especially a marsupial caught deep in a drug haze, chances are if you don’t immediately drop your plans and join them, you’re gonna have a pissed off beast with a pocket that could contain anything.

Who knew that in addition to opiates, Wallabys were avid ecstacy experimenters.

Who knew that in addition to opiates, Wallabies were avid ecstacy experimenters.

In fact, once in a drunken stupor outside the Tartan, an often maligned bar in my home town, I was held up by a possum who just happened to be carrying a switch blade and an entire gang of pissed off midget ‘possums in it’s pouch.  I can tell by that look on your face that you don’t believe me, but read on, and then we’ll see how much you doubt.  From Boing Boing and the BBC:

“The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles,” (Tasmania attorney general) Lara Giddings told the hearing (on poppy crop security).

“Then they crash,” she added. “We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high.”

I wonder if we could find a way to pin other countries crop circles on these pouch carrying bastards…

In Threes, huh?

Posted in Uncategorized on June 25, 2009 by joeylabartunek

Obviously everyone on the planet knows by now (except maybe China because they hate the internet), but damn, Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcet AND Michael Jackson?!

Crazy week, I guess….